Dialogue R (-a(c)tional-me) / E (-motive-me)
About living in
fluency
E: I want him. (... badly I want you, so bad ...
Bob Dylan) I tell him what I'm really thinking, I feel very strongly that it
works. I do not want to hold my tongue. I want “do what you feel, don't be stopped
by fears” to become the primary goal in my life. I would be the abandoning one.
So they call them. Those who know how to abandon themselves to someone. Those
who seem scarcely independent but maybe they are more independent than the
others. Cats?
R: But he does not
care... Don't bother him anymore… at least for months.
E: It's not true. He
loves us. With all his soul. Whenever I hear him, I feel it so. You can't deny
it. The words we say reject our real feelings, very much! For confirmation, of
course, because of the fear.
We tremble,
continually scared. But it is foolish! As someone who hasn't had a mom. Have
you not yet understood? It seems the kabuki theater of shadows.
Sometimes you are
right, a little. We must give time to others as to ourselves. Sometimes it does
not work that way. Do, spontaneously, what comes, what is natural.
R: Writing I'm
already fine. And it is wise not to give up anything.
He has to live his
life, if he feels that way. Let's let him live it, he would live it anyway.
Then you will see, in the meantime, I love the Holy Mystery. Of those who have
so much energy. Or do we spend it elsewhere? And where? In being ourselves.
With all these little pieces? To hold together like a puzzle that we not even
know completely. Hmmm, it's fun. Be protean.
E: I am that I am.
And I'm also proud of that. I have nothing to reproach me, some improvements to
be made ... not much. Unless when I feel like I’m dead.
R: We will solve
this problem: goals are now practiced on a large scale and mechanisms are
perfectly known.
E: Skilled manager!
Wow!
R: There has never
been a dialogue, really. Otherwise, you'd have understood before. With whom
you're dealing.
E: I knew I had a
force in the battlefield. Unrivaled. I had been told about that.
R: I did not count
on you, if I have to be honest. That you were healthy, despite having lived in
corrupt environments! Who would have thought that?
E: The storms, even
the storms: sand, electricity, moods!
R: I'll finish the verse;
even the storms leave something intact under the surface. Let's proceed then.
What do you think of for a huge primary goal for our life, at the place of the
small insignificant events for which we have struggled so far? Instead of the
vain attempt to save the intervals you put together ten minutes of rest, for
example.
E: It changes our
life. But do not make yourself beautiful with statements that are only good
economic rules. The measurement of time by watches is pure fiction. Time is not
measured in hours but in seasons of nature and of the living. And are we not “living”
as well?
R: To say it better,
we are living when ... when we do not run as madmen behind the watches, when we
follow our interior times. Life changes, then, changes, if it changes
definitely. In this sense, it is worth going against the traditions. Even if
almost no one understands it, at first, afterward, instead, something remains,
something of what you sow grows, then they see it.
E: Help me to dream,
you won't do like those who tell me to forget it because there is nothing worth
…
R: That's a
guarantee. I am within you, on your side. Only in another perspective. I grant
that in the trouble of the sea you are not overwhelmed. Dreaming ... as far as
dreaming is concerned, it is your own business.
E: Would it be
enough to know where I am and what I want? I know who I am, forever. A pioneer
of new ways of living. Without arrogance. I am not easily satisfied. A seeker
of gold and bones. One that pursues Utopia, the place of nowhere. The one who
lives for poetry and not for something else. Not for ethics but for poetics. Badly
treated, however, I am poor and homeless, groping in the dark. The roof of a
new culture, to seek. A roof... transparent to the sky, thin, fragile and
indispensable, essential. Not more.
R: It's so much more
than what we have.
E: You can bet on
that! Otherwise what kind of work would it be?
R: It’s difficult,
very difficult.
E: I feel born for
this. Not a mission, no way. But, since our early age, we have been attracted
only by the most challenging enterprises. We like risking as much as we can,
otherwise we do not feel useful. Fate.
R: Now it's my turn
to say that you must not make me beautiful with a simple rehash of other
people's ideas, just now chewed and digested!
E: Yes, yes, from
Plato to Plotinus, through Plautus, towards Pluto. I admit it. But it is more
and more difficult to follow a thread, also in red in a tightly woven dense and
compact web ... and then, told between us, it's always better Good stolen than
Evil invented, isn't it?
R: Right. Your
instrument is refined. Tuned. You know how to distinguish immediately a tone
from all the others.
E: I am tuned! Well,
yes. I sing. I'm dazed indeed. Singing for music itself.
R: I hardly see you
... at least two centuries back in time, in a nineteenth-century attic, Bohemian,
writing on the bed as you are now.
E: And I hear the
music. On the rooftops it pours. Lightning, thunder and the light of noon. How
beautiful! The world is not ruined. Not at all when you look at its natural
side.
R: For this we must
live in the country: as they said, in contact with Nature.
E: Who said that?
Philosophers or scouts?
R: Both. You silly
one!
E: A moment of
silence and recollection, then. Please, gentlemen! I do nothing but to quote
what has already been said, and better. I do not want to show off. My task, a
modest one, is to re-say, to translate into the language of my time those
echoes that come to me from ancient times. From dawn to decadence.
R: I do not blame
you, but I remind you that you keep citing, even yourself.
E: Inside me there
can be only what is just in me.
R: Do you get
irritated?
E: I'm not really
that touchy. If anything: susceptible, very nervous, always vigilant. But you
can also tell me I'm a whore; in any case, I don't believe it. Fly high. I'm
not offended.
R: Let's go back to
the origin of the speech! I find these exploratory cycles fascinating. Each
time the diameter is different, but some points are in common. I often return to
mathematical visions. Close to physics, astronomy and the exact sciences. You,
bordering with me, are in the philosophical side and occupy the arts. Did you
notice?
R: Well, well. Very
well. Go ahead!
R: It's not ironic
what you say. I am in perpetual waiting. For your permission, your passport,
your nulla osta. For your incitement, finally. It depends on you.
E: And I depend on
your flattery!
R: Let's give each
other a little good time, now.
E: Gladly, my old
smiling gourmet...
R: And a good eater.
E: Why, we would
spend pleasant hours together, if only you too would take it easy. You always keep
your control. You are a tax! Give up: you know what that means?
R: If we lose
control, we will slow down, we will make time bigger indefinitely; it will not
necessarily be very visible from the outside, but it will be a big investment.
If we decide that this is the goal, we will be successful. There is nothing to
gain, we just have to throw off ballast.
F-eed, D-rink,
D-efecate, S-leep, X-press, D-stroy, N-joy... What do you think Rabelais wanted
with Gargantua and Pantagruel and a couple on a trip like us? I-nstructive
J-ollify, pulls out the wildcard from ... C-ock, L-ick it, E-at it, F-eed
yourself, see the thematic alphabet O-bnubilate, G-raze, Suck-ceed, Re-store,
F-ool yourself, F-uck, R-oar, V-agina of Zebedee! The alphabet does not say
Abstain, AssHead, Run, Dominate, Elevate, Fry ... The beauty of words is that you
can make them tell what you want. You know. You know what you want. Eating,
drinking, the various physiological needs, imaginative, secular and protestant.
A great, great man ... Francois! Doctor and monk...
E: I did not expect
this from you, all this stuff. You're dry, as usual, as an Englishwoman. And I
am as wet as liquor cake. I would suck eighteen of them, always the same stuff:
I do not need variety. Also the large amount gives taste. Or do you mean a
single sample is equivalent to eating? I admit that it is good to stay in
shape. But overflowing is not so foolish, at least in a metaphysical sense.
Pull the edges sur ton cap, as the
French say, your goal, furl and spread sails. Sur ton cap, it sounds good, it is music! In the language in which
you learn, the good mother tongue, who licks everywhere. Hmmm!
R: “Te piace o' presepe”?
E: Yes, Philip, very
much! It's so destructive doing without it. Why do these bigots inflict much on
us? They haunt and annoy. I like what everyone likes. In nature and paying it
with my own body. Love is repaid with love...
R: Attention! Just a
moment! I think, irony of fate - not mine, then - well, until recently you were
an elitist, lonely person on the road of the Alexandrians, weren’t you? But now
you like to be the thing that appeals to everyone. I don't want to break your
balls, but you are an evil being.
E: Exactly, and you
know I like ambiguity.
R: I am for logic,
exact logic.
E: Fuck you, you
want us to split apart. It was from this point that we were divided, shit!
R: You like it, you
like it.
E: Vox populi, vox
dei. If all, many, a big crowd, people keep telling you ... that it must not be
done, what do you do?
R: It must not be
done. The night has to pass. Calm down. I understand that sometimes it is so,
sometimes not. To quote another proverb: Life is good because it varies. Am I
perhaps a fixed character of the Comedy of Art? Or don’t I help you instead with
the things to do, a practical, shady dealer: not important, the things to do
that you touch, put your hand there, take you, and transport you?
E: I'm always in the
air.
R: Like the magic
carpet. Where do you think I am? With YOUUU! Have to say it in Arabic? Arabian
Nights!
E: The night has to
pass …
R: Sing. Like a
lullaby. You will fall asleep.
E: You know I cannot
stop? It’s a vortex, a maelstrom. Liquid. Water and air cycles.
R: The passion is
over. We didn't want it anymore. Fire and earth burning, volcanoes. Solid.
E: You know you're
right? You have reasons to sell, my rational friend! Wow, I am dissipating that
collection. I'm spreading. I am liquid!
R: You’re kidding
me!
E: No, not at all. I
cannot live without you. “An vedi come balla Nando... Are you not you sick of
that?
R: I do not doubt.
It is indeed almost certain. I say “almost” because in fact my motto is "I
doubt therefore I am"... as you will remember. I will indeed remember
you... I will remember you often. I will remember you, intelligent, dear girl.
E: I want affection,
pure affection. Pampering, and I lose my mind with pleasure. Sweet.
R: Hey, you need a
man, I tell you... Everything is clear now. Take him to bed, hold him tight.
E: Leave me alone.
R: So we have
concluded. To leave one another.
The curtain falls.
